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Price Thirty-five Cents 


/J-o 

The Quaint Family 
of Three, 


BY 

✓ 

DUNCAN McRA. 



Tribune Company Print, 
Charleston, W. Va. 

Si A# 



THE LIBRARY OF 
CONGRESS, 
Two Copied Received 

JUl- 16 1902 

Copyright entry 
V-ta l Is ~ tc\ e ’i~ 
Ci ASS£_ XXa No. 

3 -1 j- <f tf 

COPY B. 


Entered according to act of Congress in the year one thousand 
nine hundred and two, 

BY DUNCAN McRA, 

in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C. 




To the most humble good, but who are ob- 
scure, is this volume 
dedicated. 



PREFACE. 


In December, 1900, some incident was re- 
lated that called my memory to a vivid recol- 
lection of the people and the incidents men- 
tioned in this book. I could not refrain from 
writing down something of those people and 
the incidents connected with their lives — 
what was both funny and what was good. 
Within a week, with other work of much less 
pleasure to perform, I produced what I have 
written. 

The people were real — once my own neigh- 
bors and friends, and the incidents related are 
truthful and not painted. One traveling in 
that section of West Virginia, described in 

the following chapter, could learn yet of those 
5 


Preface. 


that are living there, and in the decline of 
life, of Uncle Billie, Aunt Jennie, and Anna 
— of their kindness, their good deeds and their 
quaint ways. It may be considered by some 
to be unharmonious to relate in the book of 
the good Anna, and the ridiculous jokes played 
on Uncle Billie, but all goes to make up the 
quaint lives of these people. 

Charleston, W. Va., D. M. R. 

June 10, 1902. 


6 


The Quaint Family of Three 


CHAPTER I. 

Their Home Described. 

Within one mile of the source of Booth’s 
creek, a tributary of the Monongahela river, 
nestled in one of the hollows of that hilly coun- 
try, once stood a log house on the farm, the 
inhabitants of which have a history more than 
is common to be found. The house may be 
standing yet, but the family of three, that 
inhabited it once, have for some time all 
been in their graves. 

The farm, consisting of about one hundred 
acres, lay principally on the hillside, facing 
the east, and on the left side of the stream 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
above named. The house — a two story log 
house — stood in a field in the lower portion of 
the farm with the woods extending near it 
below. The farm had been cleared by this 
hardy and very strong owner in person, he 
being one of the pioneer settlers in that part 
of the country, nearly three-quarters of a cen- 
tury ago. The cleared portion of the farm land 
extended along the hillside and from the 
brooklet at the bottom to the ridge at the 
top of the hill. The lower or bottom portion 
of his farm was so rocky that it could not be 
tilled and hence had never been cleared. It 
was in the center of a large cove, formed at 
the headwaters of the stream. Here the ap- 
pearance of a great vein of sandstone, which, 
broken up, covered the ground, and at places 


8 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
forming immense cliffs, made the land of but 
little use for farm purposes. On this land 
grew fine oaks in places, while some was only 
covered with laurel. This portion of this early 
pioneer’s farm should have belonged to his 
eccentric neighbor who claimed a monopoly of 
such stony ground in that particular part of 
the country, and who owned land in the center 
of the cove. He said that ‘‘if the cove was 
likened to an apple his neighbors had all the 
best part, while he had the core.” 

The farm house stood in the position on the 
farm named, facing the east. It was two sto- 
ries high, built of hewed logs and the crevices 
between the logs filled with mud or daub. It 
was a model house for these early settlers. 
There was only one room down stairs and one 

above. There was no ceiling or paper on the 
9 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
inside. There was but one fireplace, the large 
stone chimney fireplace, in which wood was 
burnt. From the size of the fireplace one 
would consider it would furnish enough heat, 
when properly “fired up,” as it included nearly 
all the north end of the building, and sticks 
of timber almost the size of saw-logs could 
be utilized for “back-logs”. In the front part 
of the fireplace stood the old-fashioned and- 
irons. The good timber, the hero of our story 
consumed in this fireplace during his lifetime 
there, in order to make himself and family com- 
fortable, would almost build a city in this day. 
A door was in the middle of the west side of 
the house where the occupants entered, as it 
was near the ground. Another door was at 
the opposite side of the house, but it was only 

used for light and ventilation, for it was about 
10 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
six feet from it to the ground, and a few feet 
beyond was a precipice of rock twelve to fif- 
teen feet high. A single window, I believe, 
furnished light. 

The furniture was in keeping with the house 
itself. Two beds occupied the two corners of 
the house at the south end. A cupboard, a 
table, and a few split-bottom chairs constitut- 
ed the balance of the furniture. The brass 
candlestick set upon the mantle and the snuf- 
fers by its side. Their big fires in the fire 
place and the tallow candle was their only 
means of illumination at night. 


11 


CHAPTER II. 

The Quaint People . 

The names of the three occupants of this 
very modest home, as given by their neigh- 
bors and the names I shall hereafter use, were 
Uncle Billie, Aunt Jennie, his wife, and Anna. 
Uncle Billie had come with his faithful wife 
and settled in this new country in Virginia, 
likely from Summerset, one of the German 
counties of Pennsylvania. He was very large 
and strong, weighing about three hundred 
pounds. Aunt Jennie was below the medium 
size, and slender in form, and was a native of 
Ireland. Anna was the daughter of Aunt 
Jennie, but Uncle Billie was not her father, 
she having come into this world not in cornpli- 
12 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
ance with the laws of the land, so far as her 
father and mother were concerned, but as to 
herself, just as pure before God and man a* 
anybody else, for surely she had no choice 
of how she came into this world, or whether 
she came at all or not. How can we be held 
accountable as to how w T e come into this 
world? 

But little do I know of the early life of 
Anna, how it was spent, notwithstanding I 
have heard her talk for hours of her early 
life, except she seemed to have lived with a 
rich uncle (at least she called him uncle) 
named William, w 7 ho lived at or near the old 
college town of Waynesburg, Pennsylvania. I 
do know she was well raised possessing a de- 
gree of intelligence and refinement far above 

the average person of her sex, where she later 
13 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
came to live, where, of course, the people had 
few literary or social advantages in a new 
country. She was not only intelligent, read- 
ing all the books and newspapers she could 
secure at my father’s and of other neighbors, 
but she was of the most kind and 1 gentle dis- 
position. She also had clothes much finer than 
any of the neighbors where she came to, and 
had fine albums and costly jewelry and trink- 
ets unknown to her new neighbors. She was 
timid, when in company to a fault, but was an 
intelligent conversationalist, when with her 
acquaintances. How well I remember of being 
tired at her conversation, which drifted on 
incidents of her early life, when I was a little 
boy, when she used to pay frequent visits to 
my father’s house. She was past middle life 

when I first remember of seeing her. She had 
14 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

undoubtedly left a good home when she came 

to visit her mother, who was living in her 

almost wilderness home. She intended to 

make it only a short visit, but how often are 

the destinies of individuals changed on trivial 

circumstances! Her intended visit of a few 

weeks, at most, was changed to a life time 

visit. Likely she had been raised from infancy 

by a good family or a good relative, grew up 

to womanhood, and finding her real situation 

in the world, and learning of where her mother 

was, went to visit her mother who may have 

been erring at one time, yet, a mother — the 

best friend in all the world. And when she 

visited her, having that enduring love for her, 

and seeing her lonely life, she forsake the 

luxuries of her home and stayed with her and 

her step-father, Uncle Billie, whom she always 
15 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


called “papa,” till they both died at a ripe 
old age, and where she died, almost alone, 
never having married, having sacrificed her 
life in care for them, a few years later. 


16 


CHAPTER III. 


Stammering Uncle Billie. 

There are two objects in presenting the fol- 
lowing portion of my story to my readers. 
One is to show the good character and qual- 
ities of this family, and the other is to pre- 
serve, at least a few of the many jokes and 
pranks played on Uncle Billie, by the young- 
sters and mischievous class of his neighbors. 

As far back as I can remember, Uncle Bil- 
lie was in the prime of his manhood. He -was 
very strong, but he was so large he was in- 
active and clumsy. He had cleared his farm 
with his own strength, and built his high 
fences surrounding all his fields-. He stam- 
mered so badly he could hardly talk, which 
17 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
made him appear more awkward than ever. 
Then, he became blind in one eye from a can- 
cer which finally killed him. This blindness 
gave prankers an opportunity to play their 
tricks on him, almost before his face without 
their being detected. His terrible bad conver- 
sation from stammering so badly, caused 
much merriment among his young listeners, 
and, “He can’t talk any better than old Billie 
D — ,” was a synonym, for miles around, when 
referring to one who had the habit of stam- 
mering, even the least. His speech was so 
bad that at times he could not talk at all, and 
would give up trying to say what he had be- 
gun to say. Sometimes, his hearer, if a stran- 
ger, would give up trying to get information 
from him, and go away discouraged when ap- 
proaching him for information. The means 
18 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
that he always resorted to to continue his 
conversation, was to get hold of something. 
Sometimes he would put his hands in his 
pocket for his knife or he would break off a 
stick, or break a stick in two, or hunt for a 
stone to throw. Once when dining at a neigh- 
bor’s house, after failing in every effort to 
continue his conversation, he took a silver 
spoon out of his cup, caught it with both 
hands and snapped it in two. He could then 
continue his conversation, but no doubt to the 
merriment of the spectators and the embar- 
rassment of Uncle Billie and his host. 

Once in company with some other boys 
w r hen sitting under an apple tree in Uncle 
Billie’s fine orchard, one of the company asked 
him what kind of apples grew on a certain 
tree near us. He began to tell but could not 
19 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
finish. He scratched the leaves off the ground, 
pulled up the grass, shook all the apples off 
the trees, and picking an apple up off the 
ground, cut it with his knife, and then replied, 
“a little on the sour order, sir.” The foolish 
young set we were, were so tickled at his 
actions we had forgotten the query put to 
him, some minutes before. 

One means of getting his speech started 
when at his home, was for him to punch the 
fire. He was famous for keeping big wood 
fires anyhow during winter nights. Many a 
night have I spent with them till bed time* 
in company with some friends, or other mem- 
bers of our family. When he would get stall- 
ed in his conversation he would begin to 
punch the fire, and he would not stop till 
he got it all torn down on the hearth and 
20 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


sometimes on the floor. One would be afraid 
he would set the house on fire at times, and 
the cats and dogs had learned to make their 
escape from a near proximity to the fire at 
an early stage of the game, in order that they 
would not get singed 1 or burnt up. Usually 
Anna would put in her appearance, and help 
straighten up the fire, till Uncle Billie struck 
another obstacle in his speech. 


21 


CHAPTER IV. 


Many Jokes at Uncle Billie's Expense . 

But Uncle Billie’s bad efforts at speech 
caused from his stammering was not the only 
cause for a lot of fun among the young people 
of his neighbors. From his peculiar ways and 
clumsy manner and defective speech, his gen- 
eral honest and confidential w r avs, there was 
no end to the jokes and pranks played on him 
by his shrewder neighbors. Among the peo- 
ple were many who possessed a larger amount 
of mother wit than usual, and who seemed to 
spend most of it in saying quaint things, and 
no small amount of it was spent in playing 
jokes and pranks at the expense of their 

large, jovial, clumsy neighbor, Uncle Billie. 

22 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

In those days all the neighbors joined to- 
gether to help each other at house-raisings, 
log-rollings, grubbings, and corn-huskings. At 
log-rollings there were exhibits of strength 
shown in carrying heavy logs, and Uncle Bil- 
lie was always able to take care of himself in 
a match of strength with anyone he came in 
contact with. Likewise at corn-huskings, 
where Uncle Billie made up for his inferior 
skill at lighter work, by throwing over in 
the pile a large amount of corn unhusked. 
Some would make it a point to hit him as often 
as possible with their ears of corn, with the 
pretense of missing the pile of corn. Uncle 
Billie was no coward, and always was ready 
for a settlement with main strength when im- 
posed upon. 

23 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


On one occasion at a wood-chopping, he had 
laid his new coat made of home spun jeans on 
the stump of a tree. Some one came along, 
saw it and buried the bit of his ax in the 
stump on which the coat was lying, cutting- 
through it the full width of the bit of the ax 
in two places. Uncle Billie when he made the 
discovery was justly deeply enraged, and was 
ready to whip the man who had done such a 
mean trick, but no one in the crowd had the 
grit to acknowledge to having done it. Had 
anyone done so, either he or Uncle Billie 
would have had to have taken a thrashing. 

About this period in the history of our coun- 
try people began to get interested in the tem- 
perance question, and the church people had 
abstained from drinking, except to take whis- 
24 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
key as a medicine or stimulant. The use of 
cider, which they manufactured themselves, 
from their apples, was still general among all 
the farmers. 

Uncle Billie, while a good citizen and a very 
good and accommodating neighbor, was always 
used to taking his dram. He was never a 
member of church, as were Aunt Jennie and 
Anna. Uncle Billie usually kept whiskey 
about him for his own use and to treat his 
friends with, especially when he had hired 
help harvesting. Uncle Billie, knowing that 
Aunt Jennie and Anna objected to him keep- 
ing whiskey and using it, usually kept it in 
a jug and kept it hid away in his barn. Har- 
vest time had come and Uncle Billie had se- 
lected his usual class of help, that he had had 
25 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
from one year to another. He had also se- 
lected a jug of the kind of whiskey he wanted 
and hid it away carefully in his barn and lock- 
ed the door, When hiding it away he did not 
know that some of his tricky neighbors were 
watching him. Much less did he suspect that 
anyone could break into his barn to get it 
even if they knew it was there. His neigh- 
bors happened to know just as much about 
his barn and his locks as he did himself from 
having been about the premises often working 
for him. The padlock he had placed on the 
outside of his barn door and locked it was 
all right, but his neighbors had not forgotten 
to notice carefully that the chain to which 
the lock was attached and which was only 
put over a nail driven in the wall on the inside. 

26 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

Between the big logs of the barn wall was 
plenty of room for one to reach his; arm 
through the crevice, and lift the inside end 
of the chain off the nail, and the door was as 
good as open. 

The first day of Uncle Billie’s harvesting, 
after he and his harvesters had been working 
a few hours, he invited his hands to go with 
him to the barn nearby to take a drink. They 
walked to the barn door w T here they halted 
when with a great feeling of pride, he drew the 
key from his pocket and with care and pre- 
cision, unlocked the door. “Walk in, gentle- 
men; walk in,” said Uncle Billie. “Walk in, 
and help yourselves. Walk in and take a 
drink at my bai.” The men remained calm 
and never said a word, except it be to convince 
27 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

Uncle Billie that they were perfectly innocent 
of the great disappointment that was soon to 
be his lot. Uncle Billie hustled around to 
the accustomed place of concealing his jug, 
and the sad disappointment came to him that 
it was not there. He muttered something, 
but commenced looking elsewhere, lest he had 
forgotten the precise place of concealment. 
He continued the search under stronger ex- 
eitement and greater disappointment, mutter- 
ing more and more, but still not speaking the 
cause of his disappointment in plain words to 
the men. He continued the search until 
he had perhaps removed every bit of 
straw in the whole building, and until 
the forenoon was well near gone. “Some 
d — n rascal has stolen my jug,” finally 
28 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
stammered out Uncle Billie. The men ex- 
pressed great surprise and utter disappoint- 
ment at the announcement. Finally the search 
was given up, and with some severe threats 
from Uncle Billie as to how he would treat the 
one who had stolen his whiskey in case he ever 
found him out, they worked a short time more 
before Anna called them to dinner. 

Uncle Billie did not know, and never did 
know, that the very men by his side had watch- 
ed him put it there, and late in the evening, 
after Uncle Billie had put the whiskey away 
so carefully, they went and got it out through 
sheer mischief, simply by reaching their hands 
inside and removing the chain from the nail. 

It was for years after a great amount of 
pleasure for these men to relate the story of 


29 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
how they had stolen Uncle Billie’s whiskey, 
and took hearty laughs about it. But all 
agreed that harvesting would not proceed 
right with Uncle Billie without whiskey. 
Uncle Billie whs just as well convinced 
of that as his men, so he hustled off 
several miles to the nearest place where 
whiskey could be procured, for more, leaving 
his men hard at work in the harvest field till 
his return, or resting nicely under a shade 
tree in the field till he returned — most likely 
the latter. Uncle Billie’s harvesting was not 
such a big job, but the men he employed made 
as long a job of it asi possible, for it was too 
much fun to harvest for Uncle Billie to hurry 
too much to get it done quickly. Their rule 
was the reverse of economizing time. Many a 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


time, after Uncle Billie got too old to do his 
work, has father sent me when I was a boy, 
to haul his corn or feed, or haul his wood to 
make them fires. He would be out wUh me 
to help as long as he was able to. His stut- 
tering always did tickle me so I could not help 
laughing at him when he would attempt to 
talk and could not. I always had to go around 
on the opposite side of the oxen I drove, from 
where he was, to keep him from seeing me. 
When he got in a bad way of stammernig he 
would nearly always grab a standard and 
break it out of the sled, pull the load off, up- 
set the sled on the steep hillside, or getting 
too close to the oxen, who did not like stran- 
gers, when one of them would lam away and 
kick him. 


31 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

For years after tlie family had become al- 
most helpless, father and us boys did most 
of his outside work, doing his hauling, and 
with little or no compensation. We used to 
go during big snows to haul them wood. I 
remember on one occasion of Aunt Jennie say- 
ing to my father, “Mr. M — , if you don't get 
your reward in this world you will in the 
next.” She was a good Christian lady. 

At times when Uncle Billie had no wood, 
he would utilize a stump, torn up from the 
ground, from his fields for a back-log. These 
with the big roots of the stump sticking out 
on the hearth, made an uncouth looking fire, 
and was another source of amusement to those 
calling at his fireside. 


32 


CHAPTER Y. 

Their Dogs Give Them Much Trouble. 

Another means of much merriment and 
sport by their neighbors from this good but 
quaint family, was caused from their intense 
devotion to their dogs and cats. Of these 
they always kept a sufficient supply. Like 
most people who keep dogs and cats, no rea- 
son could be given for their keeping them un- 
less for the little company they made them in 
their isolated home, away from any near 
neighbors. 

I remember on one occasion, among many, 
when my sister and I went on some errand to 
their house, that Aunt Jennie was eating her 
breakfast by herself, at a late hour in the 


The Quaint Family of Three. 
morning 1 . Two yellow cats were sitting on 
either side of her, waiting for her to give them 
part of her breakfast. They each sat there 
with their large staring eyes and mewing, 
each one trying to see which could get the 
coveted bite from Aunt Jennie’s hand first. 
Hhe fed them willingly, was the reason they 
were there, but sometimes they would make 
matters a little too rough for their kind mis- 
tress, and would continually keep nibbling 
and scratching her, as a reminder for more 
breakfast, considerably to her own discom- 
fort. So, to ward them off, she kept striking 
straight out with her feet, first one side and 
then the other, to keep them at a reasonable 
distance from her. My sister and T were alone 
with her and were very much amused and 
34 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
tickled, but we bid our feelings as best we 
could for children, as we did not wish her to 
see us laughing at her. They were all always 
very kind to us children, and we delighted to 
go there, for they liked us, and if there was a 
cake in the house we always got it. 

These people, especially old Aunt Jennie, 
possessed a certain amount of superstition. 
When a small child I accompanied my mother 
and two sisters on a visit there one night in 
winter. Mother was complaining of a sty on 
her eye. The mention of the fact brought 
forth a suggested remedy from Aunt Jennie. 
It was to rub the affected eye with a gold 
ring. Anna had a gold ring, and after a 
search produced it, to perform the operation 
of relief. My younger sister was to perform 
35 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
the operation. We were all much tickled at 
the suggestion of the cure, but mother readily 
consented to their plan of relief. My sister 
commenced the operation, with mother and 
the rest of us laughing, so that we could hard- 
ly conceal ourselves from them, and could not 
had there been any other light in the house 
but the light from Uncle Billie’s huge fire. 
Mother hung her head and shut her eyes laugh- 
ing, and Anna, noticing her, but did not see 
her laughing, thought mv sister had hurt her, 
and began to scold my sister in an easy man- 
ner for having hurt her mother, and then 
wanted to do something for the hurt. That 
tickled us all the more, they said, till it was 
difficult for any of us to speak without laugh- 
ing. Mother expressed herself as feeling 
36 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
much relieved, and they all expressed their 
gratefulness at having given her relief. 

I think it was on this same visit that Anna 
made some sweet-cakes for us to eat. Uncle 
Billie occupied one corner of the house with 
himself reversed on his chair and his back to 
the fire. His faithful dog Watch lay near him, 
looking up in his master’s face, asking for a 
share of his evening lunch. Uncle Billie would 
watch for an opportunity to throw Watch a 
cake now and then when he thought no one 
saw him. 

Near the door Uncle Billie had cut a hole in 
the wall, in order that the cats could go in 
and out as they pleased. They were generally 
inside, but if a stranger entered the house 
about a half a dozen terrified cats would be 


37 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
seen making their exit at that hole as fast as 
room would permit them to get through. 

As to their dogs, they always kept a mean 
one -that people generally had a hatred for. 
Their dog always accompanied Uncle Billie on 
his errand, or when he went to mill, and went 
with Anna when she went to church and al- 
ways went in and stayed close to their side, 
always to the annoyance of otheys. 

One of their dogs especially hated, was a 
large one, heavy set, short legged and carried 
his tail in a graceful curve over his back. He 
had a big head, was rather vicious, and was 
mixed some with the bull variety. He was 
of a dirty yellow color, with white feet. His 
name was Rowdy. Rowdy was a faithful com- 
panion of the family for a number of years, 
38 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

tili he met a bad fate at the hands of some 
of his enemies. He had been stoned and kick- 
ed so much by mischievous boys and men who 
hated him that he got so he could scarcely be 
gotten a foot away from Anna or Uncle Bil- 
lie when they were out. 

On one occasion he was induced away from 
one of them when passing a school house, was 
caught by the boys and severely whipped. 
Anna had to spend days and nights doctoring 
Rowdy before she got him well. 

One day when Uncle Billie had gone to mill 
accompanied as usual by Rowdy, Rowdy got 
induced away from his master by some mirac- 
ulous trick by one of his bitter enemies and 
was thrown in among the wheels of the old 
water mill and Uncle Billie returned home 
39 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
without Rowdy and with vengeance in his 
feelings and a sad heart. He carried the sad 
intelligence to the rest of the family and there 
was mourning for Rowdy for a long time. 
Likewise there was great rejoicing among the 
neighbors at his untimely (or timely) death. 


40 


CHAPTER VI. 


More Tricks on Uncle Billie. A Bad Bargain. 

The manner of playing pranks on Uncle Bil- 
lie was more than one. On one occasion some 
one called him from the road on the top of 
the hill above his house to hurry and come to 
pay his taxes. Uncle Billie who was always 
punctual in such matters got his money and 
hurried up to the top of the hill, on a hot 
summer day with the full belief that it w^as 
the tax collector after his money. After his 
worrysome trip of a quarter of a mile, up the 
steep hill, carrying his three hundred pounds 
weight and nearly out of breath, he found no 
tax collector, or any one else. No doubt some 
one was concealed in the bushes near to wit- 
ness Uncle Billie in his disappointment. 


41 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

In those days people took their grain to 
mill to be ground on horseback in sacks. 
When there was water enough to grind Uncle 
Billie had about three miles to go to the old 
water mill to get his grain ground. About two 
bushels of wheat or corn on a horse with Uncle 
Billie’s weight added, made such a heavy load 
that he usually walked and led his horse with 
the sack of grain across its back. He was a 
little hard of hearing and being blind in one 
eye he could neither see nor hear to the best 
advantage. More than once I have known the 
sack to fall off and Uncle Billie go along quite 
a distance without discovering that he had no 
sack. Some times he would lead his horse 
up to the mill door and he would have no sack. 
Or, he would arrive home and turn to take 
42 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
off his sack of flour and find that he had lost 
it on the road home. In either case he had to 
retrace his steps for the lost treasure. Some 
times he would find the remains of his sack 
while its contents had been destroyed by the 
hogs. After a number of such disastrous ex- 
periences as related, he concluded to take the 
safer plan of driving his horse with the sack 
on its back so he could better watch that he 
did not loose it. Uncle Billie always kept a 
good horse and once when he was returning 
from mill, about two miles from home, his 
sack fell off and his “critter,” as he would call 
his horse, got scared and run on home, in spite 
of Uncle Billie’s efforts to induce it to stop. 
There was no other relief for him, knowing 
his past experience of having his flour destroy* 
43 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

ed by bogs, but to put bis sack on bis back 
and carry it borne. He was strong enough to 
do sucb a thing if any one was, but no doubt 
be arrived home much worried after such an 
experience. 

Anna purchased the few groceries they had 
to buy, such as coffee and tea, and usually 
what dry goods they did not manufacture at 
home, by the sale of eggs, butter and chickens. 
One summer she had worked faithfully and 
raised several broods of fine chickens which 
she intended to sell and with the money buy 
some badly needed articles for the family. 
Uncle Billie started to the market with the 
chickens, having to go on horseback about 
eight miles to the nearest railroad town to 
sell them in the most profitable manner. 

44 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

When within about two miles of the place of 
destination, he was offered a proposition to 
buy his entire lot, amounting in value to sev- 
eral dollars, by a miserable family who lived 
in a miserable place by the roadside. They 
wer.‘ known only as professional thieves, and 
were pi i haps guilty of much tvorse crimes 
than petit stealing. The man offered Uncle 
Billie an extra price for the chickens as they 
were extra fine ones, but asked him to wait a 
few days for his pay. Uncle Billie thought he 
was making a good sale, disposed of the entire 
lot and returned home. He was informed of 
the class of people he had been dealing with, 
and was never able to collect his bill for the 
chickens. Poor Anna had lost her summer’s 
labor in raising them and had to do without 


45 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

the article she intended to buy till another 
time. 

Almost invariably if he was sent to market 
with eggs, he got them broken before he got 
to market. 

Uncle Billie as I have stated was a very 
large man, and had very large feet, and of 
course required as large a boot or shoe. I 
would say that he wore at least a number 
twelve boot, possibly larger. It was even dif- 
ficult for him to get a boot made to order 
large enough for him. He had had made a 
new pair of boots, which as usual were too 
small for him. 

Soon after he had purchased his new boots, 
on a cold winter evening when there was snow 
on the ground, he met some of the boys of his 
neighbors, among them being a large young 

46 


The Quaint Family of Three, 
man who also had on a pair of new boots that 
were so large they bore some resemblance to 
those Uncle Billie wore, but of course were 
not near so large. 

The young men, who were ever ready for 
some sport, and especially with Uncle Billie 
in a careful easy way, proposed that he and 
the young man trade boots, and Uncle Billie 
took well to the suggestion, and begun get- 
ting off his boots in order to try on those of 
the young man. The boys kept him there in 
the snow for quite a while tugging away try- 
ing to get them on. After a long effort he 
concluded they were too tight, and gave it up. 
In the meantime, he had gotten his feet so 
wet in the snow, he could not get his own 
boots on and was obliged to walk home in his 
47 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


stocking feet in the snow. The boys had 
played the rough trick on him they had start- 
ed out to, and left him alone, and to get home 
as best he could. Such tricks would seem 
pretty rough, but they were not so bad for 
those hardy people in those days and every- 
body seemed licensed to play any jokes on 
Uncle Billie they could. 


48 


CHAPTER VII. 

Uncle Billie'' s Dog Again the Cause of Serious 
Trouble . 

Uncle Billie’s dogs seemed to get him into 
a great deal of trouble, as much as he thought 
of them and as much as they thought of him. 
On one occasion he had sold a cow and he had 
to drive her away a certain distance to deliver 
her to the buyer. They always kept their 
stock of all kinds well, and petted them, and 
this cow having been on the farm for several 
years, and being well treated, was loth to 
leave the premises, and Uncle Billie and Anna 
together with all the neighbors and dogs of 
their immediate surroundings were hardly 
qualified for the task. The cow would neither 
be coaxed nor driven. So, what could be done, 
49 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


as she could not be taken by sheer force, by 
even as many people as had ioined in the en- 
deavor. In order to reach a public road some 
distance away on the hill, they had to drive 
her by way of a winding path along the hill- 
side, through a dense patch of laurel. The 
cow was still in sight of, and near her old 
home, and was determined not to be driven 
away. They would get her along some dis- 
tance and then she would break through the 
laurel and would have to be headed off and 
brought up again. This was repeated time 
and again, till not only the people but the 
cow herself became tired, and when she had 
been driven about as far as their efforts had 
gotten her to go before she laid down in the 
thicket of bushes and utterly refused to move. 

50 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


What could be done? But the cow had to be 
driven some way and Uncle Billie like the 
persevering man that he w 7 as, begun to devise 
some scheme or plan by which to get the cow 
up, and make her go, so as Uncle Billie’s dog 
w f as always his faithful companion, giving 
much pleasure but more trouble, he concluded 
to bring him into play in ^rder to get the 
cow up. The cow was lying along the hillside 
with the thicket of laurel below. Watch, the 
faithful house dog was called up, and an effort 
was made to get him to bite the cow’s legs 
Watch either did not understand what was 
expected of him in such a case, or else his keen 
instinct taught him that about a cow r ’s feet 
was a dangerous place to nibble, even if the 
cow was lying dow r n. Uncle Bille’s next 
51 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


trouble was to settle w T ith Watch for refusing 
to obey orders when he told him to bite the 
cow’s hind leg. But Watch persisted in re- 
fusing to obey such a command. Uncle Bil- 
lie w T as as much determined that he should, 
and so the question between man and dog was 
at issue, then and there. So the man in this 
case being much the larger and stronger, and 
it being largely a question of main strength 
after Uncle Billie got the dog by the cuff of 
the neck, he proceeded to make him do what 
he had refused to do. He led Watch up to 
the cow’s heels, but still he refused to bite 
the cow. Determined that he would win, he 
proceeded to put the dog’s mouth against the 
cow’s heels. She rebelled, and refused to have 
her hind legs tickled with a dog’s teeth, and 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


lammed away with a terrible blow with her 
left hind leg. Whether the blow was intended 
for the dog or the man, or both, no one knows, 
but Uncle Billie received the full force of the 
cow’s tremendous effort and sent him sprawl- 
ing into a confused and mighty mass of hu- 
manity in the bushes some distance below. He 
was just at the proper distance from the cow’s 
heels to receive the full force of the blow. It 
did not kill Uncle Billie, but he received a 
hard stun. He learned that consistency was 
one thing and force another. 

With all these events transpiring, which 
almost ended in a tragedy, matters were more 
confused than ever. Just what the outcome 
of getting the cow away w r as, I can not say. 
I think Uncle Billie had to be conveyed home, 
53 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


where he had to remain for repairs to his 
much injured person for some time. Quite 
likely the cow was driven away to the place 
of original destination, by the balance of the 
force that did not have to be engaged in get- 
ting Uncle Billie home, after his sad accident. 


54 


CHAPTER VIII. 

Closing Events of Their Lives . 

I need further to only relate some of the 
subsequent events in the lives of this trio of 
quaint, good people. Uncle Billie, while not 
a member of church, was a hard working, hon- 
est man, and a good neighbor, and a good cit- 
izen. He attended to his own business, much 
better toward his neighbors, than they did 
toward him. But the many tricks that were 
played on him by his neighbors, some of which 
I have related, w r ere in no cases intended to 
injure him. They were only jokes practiced 
on him for sport, and it was their manner of 
practicing such pranks. Uncle Billie really 
had the good will of all his neighbors, and by 
55 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


attending to liis own business he had no ene- 
mies, for he was good natured and as clever 
as any man. 

He was prosperous and cared for his family 
as well as any of his neighbors as long as 
he was able to work, and left plenty for their 
support when he could no longer work, but he 
was by no means rich. He owned his farm, 
raised plenty to eat, had good orchards of 
fruit, raised stock for his own use, and to sell, 
and had a modest but comfortable dwelling. 
When he got older, so he could no longer work 
I think he had to give a mortgage on his farm 
to get money for them to live on, but there 
was nothing wrong in that. It was by his own 
industry he had property to mortgage, and 
he had no children to leave his property to, 
56 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


and no children to care for him. He made all 
he had by hard work, and could have been bet- 
ter situated, had he been a little more skill- 
ful in his business transactions. That, he was 
not. He generally got the worst end in a busi- 
ness transaction. 

About middle life he became afflicted with 
a cancer on his face, which kept getting worse 
till it finally killed him. He suffered severely 
from it for years, till finally it eat out one eye 
and soon ended his life. He reached an age 
past sixty. 

Aunt Jennie was older but she died near 
the same time her husband died. She and 
Uncle Billie both owed a world of gratitude 
to Anna for her coming to stay with them, 
who sacrificed her life, and cared for them 
57 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


with the most tender care till the last. What 
a lonely life she lived, and what hardships she 
had to endure? She lived to care for both 
her mother and Uncle Billie while they lived, 
and to see them laid away in the cemetery on 
the hill by the church and school house by the 
little village, where they were to sleep togeth- 
er side by side forever. She also lived for a 
number of years after they were gone, the 
most lonely life. She had lived such a lonely 
life and one of care alone, for her mother and 
“papa” for so long, and had so long denied 
herself of even the comforts of life, that when 
they were dead, she refused to go with any 
one else to live and did not care for anyone 
to live with her. Then she was getting old 
and peculiar in her ways and her mind had 
58 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


become so affected, that no one cared about 
making their home with her. A rich relative 
urged her to go and make her home with him, 
but she refused to go. She lived alone with her 
cats and dog for several years, but neighbors 
visited her often and tried to see that she 
was not in need. But, as she would live no 
other way but alone, someone could not be 
there all the time and it is hard to tell what 
her needs were and beside she was so timid, 
peculiar and self-sacrificing she would not 
make known her wants to those who wanted 
to comfort and assist her. 

She finally had scarcely any memory at all. 
As an instance, when her mother and papa 
died and were buried side by side, she desired 
to have tombstones first placed at her moth- 
59 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


er’s grave, and had tombstones erected, but 
the neighbors who were acquainted w 7 ith the 
two graves by having seen them both buried, 
declare that she had her mother’s tombstone 
erected over her papa’s grave instead of over 
her mother’s. 

Her failure of memory was first noticed 
when she begun to ask the neighbors the day 
of the week. She seemed to lose account of 
time entirely and would ask every one she 
would see, to tell her the day of the week. 
Her chief interest on this particular subject 
seems to have been caused by her fear that 
she would not know when Sunday came, and 
that she would thereby work on that day. She 
was a good woman and would do no intention- 
al wrong, either against the laws of God or 
60 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


man. She always occupied a modest position 
in the church as long as she was able to go, 
or circumstances would permit her to go. But 
while she would only take an humble seat at 
church, the story of her life would place her 
name high among the purest and best, for her 
whole life, obscure to the world as she was, 
would have been a monument to the kindest, 
best and most loving, and most self-sacrific- 
ing, that ever lived. I have been at her home 
when she tried to keep account of the days 
by beginning at a certain date and making a 
mark with a charcoal on a board, as each day 
passed. But she would get confused and 
wrong, for if she could not remember the days 
in the ordinary manner, she would be likely 


61 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


either to forget to put down a mark at all 
for a day, or else put down two for the same 
day. 

Anna not being an heir of Uncle Billie, she 
could not inherit his property at his death 
without he willed it to her during his life- 
time. My father, who often looked after le- 
gal matters of business for his neighbors and 
who always liked to see justice meted out to 
the good and deserving, foresaw what would 
happen if Uncle Billie died without making his 
will, and was persistent with Uncle Billie in 
having him make provision for Anna before 
it was too late. Not but what Uncle Billie 
wanted to provide for Anna, when he was 
gone, but because he was stupid about most 
matters of business, it was a long time before 
62 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

Uncle Billie consented for father to write his 
will, leaving all his property to Anna during 
her lifetime. It was the part of wisdom to 
do this, for she had so faithfully cared for 
both the old folks, it would have even been 
worse for her than it was, had she been left 
homeless and penniless at their death. 

After living several years alone, an addition 
was built to the old log house and a man 
rented the farm, and with his family lived in 
part of the house, so she did not spend her 
last days entirely alone. As to the care taken 
of her, I can not say a word, for I do not know. 
But I do know she was not cared for too well, 
or well enough, to repay her for the enduring 
care she had had for others. 


63 


CHAPTER IX. 

A Family Extinct. 

With the death of Anna, a pure life had 
gone out and that family was extinct. She no 
doubt could have lived a life of ease and lux- 
ury, and in refinement had she not come to 
care for her aged mother. Such love and de- 
votion, such a kind and sacrificing disposition, 
is rare. There have no doubt been but few 
such examples in the history of the human 
race. The same angels who watched over her 
long and lonely nights, in caring for the help- 
less and sick, must have stepped down from 
the gates of heaven, to welcome her tired, but 
pure spirit home, and her name must be writ- 
ten in shining letters of gold in the book of 
life. 


64 


The Quaint Family of Three. 

All people are only human. Some live in 
great splendor and magnificence, and their 
names are sounded for some deed, to all parts 
of the world, and when they die, long proces- 
sions with great pomp, dressed in tapestry, 
and with sounding cymbals, follow them to 
their tombs. Papers are filled with portraits 
and sketches of their lives. Men pronounce 
eulogies over them, and write books of what 
they have done. Do we know their real lives? 
Were they pure? Had all principle and char- 
acter been sacrificed to make a personal point, 
to meet some end, and then the world looked 
on and called them great? The world may 
do that, but how unjust. How often do we 
see people running over others, to get to a 
famous person, to do him honor, and to con- 
tribute to his coffers? How many worthy per- 
65 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


.sons, in the pursuit, have been run over, and 
crushed a little more, for such people, yet the 
real worthy, struggling, needy, deserving, hon- 
est one, is not seen, and if seen is unnoticed. 

Anna’s name may not have been known fif- 
ty miles from home, but a just God at last 
gives her her proper position as He shall us 
all. 




66 


CHAPTER X. 

The Sad Changes Wrought by Time. 

It has been years since I saw their old home, 
but I know it has changed. It is like all old 
homesteads that pass into the hands of others, 
it must be changed. It had changed from 
what it used to be when I last saw it. When 
I did see it last, I thought only of by-gone 
days, and I was not interested in looking at 
it for I knew it was in new hands, the old 
occupants I used to know, were gone, and it 
was sad for me to reflect upon. But such is 
life and such are the changes wrought by 
time. 

When I was last by the old place, the fields 
67 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


did not look as they did years ago. The old 
dwelling was there, but it had been altered. 
The barn, that I have related to you incidents 
about was not there. Where a mere path used 
to meander around the farm below the house 
with the overhanging trees, the path and trees 
were both gone. How often had I traveled 
that path when a little boy and the people of 
the whole settlement had used it in going from 
place to place. 

Aunt Jennie was not to be seen about the 
premises as she was one day. No barking of 
the dog to those passing by as once. Anna 
could not be seen going about, seeing after the 
cow. the sheep, the chickens, her garden, or 
carrying water from the spring some distance 
from the house, nor was she there to give you 
68 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


a kind word of greeting or be so glad to see 
an old friend to talk to, once more. 

The last time I ever saw her was on a Christ- 
mas morning that I happened to be at home. 
I had mother prepare me a basket of cakes, 
pies, and other eatables, and I took them up 
to her. How surprised to see me, and while 
she seemed very forgetful yet she appreciated 
my call and talked till I had to leave. She 
had changed, except in her kind manners. 

Then there was Uncle Billie, in his working 
days who was seen about his farm, dressed in 
his pure white linen in the summer, and his 
heavy homemade jeans, of red or blue color, 
in winter. Sometimes, to be heard driving his 
horse plowing, or hauling a load, and if going 
too fast for his clumsy body, hallowing, 
“whoa, Kit! whoa, Kit!” at her. Or, may be 
69 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


calling up his hogs, in the evening, with a 
voice to be heard among those hills and hol- 
lows for miles around. No more pranks are 
played in good humor and taken in good hu- 
mor. Uncle Billie and his prankers all were 
gone, and while it does not seem so long ago, 
yet all are unknown to a new generation, and 
almost forgotten by the old. 

When I last saw the place what a change! 
Vet 1 thought of all these. A happy family 
occupies a home today. This family is our 
warm friends. What a pleasure to visit them. 
How happy, kind and generous they are. They 
may be our own relatives. We go to the same 
place in a few years, and the place has 
changed, or the people are gone. How differ- 
ent the new people are? They are strangers 
70 


The Quaint Family of Three. 


to us, and do not know us. How soon we 
think of the past and the old occupants and 
regret the change wrought by time, and we 
do not have to be a real Rip Van Winkle to 
make these observations. 


THE END. 


CONTENTS. 


Their Home Described 7 

The Quaint People 12 

Stammering Uncle Billie 17 

Many Jokes at Uncle Billie’s Expense 22 

Their Dogs Give Them Much Trouble 33 

More Tricks on Uncle Billie. A Bad Bargain.. 41 
Uncle Billie’s Dog Again Causes Serious 

trouble 49 

Closing Events of Their Lives 54 

A Family Extinct 64 

The Sad Changes Wrought by Time 67 







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